Claymation Christmas

The man who could have been my father in law taught his children that claymation was the work of the devil. In earnest. These were not some hillbilly, snake wrasslin’ born again christian types but more Church of the Holy Cadillac visit the Episcopalian church they belong to thrice yearly types.

Years later he would admit that althgouh there was no grounded basis for it, he himself was afraid of the stop motion holiday fare. He also admitted to having bedded over 100 women. There probably is no correlation.

I stick by my choices.

 

Texas Sized Trash Pile

Alright, we’ve all heard the rumors of this Texas sized (or twice the size of Texas – depending on who’s reportage you’re listening to) pile of trash floating in the Pacific somewhere between San Francisco and Hawaii but, how come there are no pictures of it? I would think it would be visible from some satellite. I would think google earth would be able to come up with something to slake the public’s thirst for knowledge.

It is rumored to be anywhere between three feet to three or four hundred feet thick in different areas. Is all this submerged underwater?

And don’t think I don’t appreciate the fact taht no matter how big it is, the pile of crap is always comparable to Texas.

 

Can you see the funny?

 

Looking for holiday fun for the whole family?

Let me take a moment to recommend Mexican train dominoes. I’ve played with the very old, the very middle aged and even a somewhat precocious second grader. This game is better than cards because there’s an element of luck that disallows the same player winning over and over again.

It’s also engaging enough that you really aren’t bored playing with (older) children. And a great discrepancy in IQs isn’t the end of the world (I’m looking at you, In-Laws!). The only downfall is if you’re color blind – oh, wait a minute, you can also count the numbers on the dominoes!

 

Make up your mind, Austin.

Two days ago it was record mid 80’s weather. Yesterday’s high was 45. And it was rainy. This morning at 8am it was already 70. I had to open the door to let the warm air in – in the middle of December.

PS -

If you leave your back door open to let the warmer air in, do not be surprised if something furry rubs up against you as you pour your coffee. Cats are curious things, and a neighborhood stray just wants to know, “What’s up with you this fine morning, Binky?”

 

Congratulations, High School!

My Broughton Boys Soccer team is ranked Number 1 in the US! Way to go Caps!

I am not sure how those rankings are figured but, I am pretty sure Izzy Hernandez (whose taken the Ladies’ soccer team to something like 9 state championships) has led the boys soccer team to back to back state wins.

For those of you not in the know Needham B. Broughton High School in Raleigh boasts such graduates as Pistol Pete Marovich, Sharon Lawrence (of NYPD Blue and have a dozen cancelled sit-coms), and Anne Tyler (Breathing Lessons/Accidental Tourist)

 

Summing it Up

“I wasn’t really too sure about him until I found out he was into zombies too.”

I feel like that this encapsulates what has turned out to be a nice working relationship between two of my friends (a creative team for about 5 years). Yes, he had his initial doubts about partnership but then one day, it all became clear…everything would be fine.

 

Narcissistic? Check. Voyeuristic?…well?

I wonder if there are others out there like me who find having a myspace page a little creedpy if you’re over the age of 30?

I understand if you have a band and that band has a myspace page (as many of my friends in bands do – but none of them have a separate personal page).

I get that it is a sort of revolutionary idea. It can be a great marketing tool but, if you’re simply marketing yourself and where to meet up for a drink, that seems a bit absurd. How much free time do you have to have to check it every minute of the day, and email and phone calls and …UGH.  How much ego-massaging do we all need?

And what if it’s just checking up on old high school and college friends? That also seems like it would go nowhere. “I think you were in my Trig class. Just wanted to say hi.” Truth be told, you were just looking them up to see their picture, you’re not gonna leave any message. You just want to know whether you can feel better about yourself, if you can feel in some way superior.

One more thing I’ll admit while I’m feeling confessional; I peruse the Craigslist personals. Not for any reason (and, yes, I did it back when they were the missed connections and love-garblings back on the last pages of Raleigh’s  Spectator or The Independant), I just like to see who’s out there in the world looking for a friend- or more. The advent of the internet however has added an extra purvy layer, “Now, with Creepy Pictures!” 

I’m not sure why I do it. I’m not having a laugh at their expense (although occasionally, it happens). And I know I’m not the only one. I actually have a friend who met her husband online and she was the one who turned me on to reading them for a lark.

I do honestly think it can be hard to meet people in this day and age although we have an even greater capacity to do so than ever before. And I do admire people who are actually putting themselves out there in what can be a cynical place. I have no idea what I would say to try and come across as smart, funny or at least grounded in reality. Maybe the whole idea is a bust. Maybe it works for some. I have no idea. I’ve never put toe near water on this one. A glimmer of hope is certainly better than no hope at all.

 

Toffee Chocolate Cookie Pieces

 It’s not my intention to add a bunch of recipes, but Christmas is here and as a child of the South I’ve had to attend my fair share of Cookie swaps. (My friends got a little retro ealry on - plus someone asked for this recipe so, here it is). It’s nice to be able to have something a little bit different. There are also office Christmas parties and other holiday ordeals that require a tiny bit of baking to see you through the day.

Please to Enjoy.

     1 cup pecans, coarsely chopped

Cookie Layer:

• ½ cup unsalted butter
• ½ cup sugar
• 1 egg yolk
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 1½ cups all-purpose flour
• ⅛ teaspoon salt

Toffee:

• ½ cup unsalted butter
• ½ cup brown sugar

Chocolate:

• ½ cup chocolate chips

Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Toast pecan pieces about 12 minutes or until lightly toasted and fragrant.

In large bowl beat butter until smooth. Add sugar. Beat until combined, scraping side of bowl. Beat in egg yolk until combined. Add flour and salt.

Between two sheets of waxed paper (or plastic) roll the dough to a 12″ by 9″ rectangle (I’m not too particular about these cookies). Transfer dough to a cookie sheet. Bake 20 minutes, or until lightly browned. Remove to cooling rack and let cool completely.

In a medium pot bring brown sugar and butter to a boil. Stir occasionally about 5 minutes. Immediately spread over cooled cookie.

Sprinkle chocolate chips over toffee. Put back in oven 5 minutes or until chocolate is melted. (You can smooth melty chocolate with spatula). Immediately sprinkle toasted nuts.

Put in freezer for at least 30 minutes. Break candy into desired size pieces.

Try them. Pretty simple to make but taste like a lot more work than they are! Let me know if you make these. There always a hit! 

 

Brit-Coms

Living in America and loving British comedy is hard. BBCAmerica doesn’t seem to love us, or at the least doesn’t believe that we can handle anything more controversial than Jonathan Creek (which I do happen to like as well but, that’s beside the point). Even different PBS stations allow more divisive forays into original BBC programming than ‘ole BBCA. Between the two stations, you are likely to see As Time Goes By (which doesn’t really provide a lot of laugh out loud bits but does have its charms), Keeping Up Appearances, Monty Python (a stalwart but originally airing in 1969, I believe we all have had the opportunity to see it), and a few other penshioners’ shows like One Foot in the Grave or Last of the Summer Wine (originally airing 1973).

BBCAmerica also allows Benny Hill (which Brits don’t even consider a classic!), AbFab (we’ve all seen it, if we wanted to), Catherine Tate – a horrible, horrible show and Little Britain, which seems cultish at best.

But what about some great quality programs? What are MY top BritComs of recent years, you ask? Which ones would I recommend to you, valiant viewer? I’m here to help…

1. Peep Show – The formula sounds fairly pat, mismatched college friends who find themselves roommates in London. One is a free-spirit musician type who’s waiting for his big break, nursing a broken heart, the other a history buff working a low-mid-management job in finance. Although the original gimmick of intense point of view camera angles can wear thin, the writing takes it to a nice new place with references to Napoleon and a general feeling of awkwardness that you didn’t see coming.

2. I’m Alan Partridge – Steve Coogan’s best loved character, the dopey talk show host who lost his job and now suffers through the 3am slot on a small market radio program without wanting to admit defeat to himself or his long suffering PA. The character is awkward, takes himself too seriously but, he’s somehow relatable and you may end up rooting for him (although it’s probably not Coogan’s intention). Doesn’t veer into the painful land of funny that Curb Your Enthusiasm inhabits.

3. Black Books – Comedians Dylan Moran and Bill Bailey make what could be a dull show grand. Moran is a reluctant owner of a book shop who would rather drink and smoke than sell a single tome. Bailey’s an eager assistant.

4. QI – A show that could not happen here in the good ol’ US of A. Basic quiz show where knowing the obvious answer gets you no points. Rotating panel of comedians (including one Yank, Rich Hall making quite a few visits) provide their best guesses or a little humor. Stephen Fry serving as upper crusty, highly educated moderator is on par with no other Americans that would potentially host here in America.

5. The Mighty Boosh – Funnily enough, fairly popular with kids in Britain, I see it as a mad psychedelic satire. They weave in stories, music (parodies of every genre) and a little animation. Bizarre and simple. Or is it?

6. Nathan Barley – OK, I’ll be honest, I’ve seen one ep on YouTube, but I’ve ordered the series and the one episode I watched was ridiculously funny and also served as a social commentary on youth and their Hipness. I suffer from the same disease and it’s nice to watch someone take the wind out of ones sails. I’ll follow up when I’ve seen the whole series. Check back in 2 weeks.

Any others you can recommend? Let me know your thoughts and comments!